There was a time at church, in the very house of God where I felt such oppression, I struggled to praise the Lord, struggled to sing the songs, my ears felt uncomfortable. I worried that the enemy was trying to effect my hearing. Instead of focusing on the Lord I kept fighting thoughts. I remembered what Juniors wife said "the battle is not yours it's the Lords, just praise Him" so I thought it was best to praise the Lord but it was so hard, like walking through mud, when I heard some of the lyrics of the songs I felt guilty because I didn't feel like I felt that way, I just wanted to go away and pray and cry out to the Lord. That God, I sang anyway because even if I didn't feel great, the lyrics expressed what I wanted, they said how I wanted things to be, they told of how I wanted to see the Lord. There were times where I went to church and hoped that someone would discern that I needed help. If someone caught my eye for a minute I wondered if they could see something on me, I hoped that they would see and be moved to help me. One day while sitting next to juniors wife, that's when she said what she said. I heard it and thanked God. I still couldn't see how to let go because in my mind I kept repeating what she said but I still felt really heavy. She then said, "Just let it go and do not pick it up again" I said OK. In my mind though I felt guilty because I didn't know how to let it go. I could feel the oppression and with that I felt I hadn't let it go. I appologised to God. Went home and wondered how to let go of my worries and worries about worries. I don't even want to call them "my" worries.

I felt that feeling in my heart and in my ear and I felt terrible, unworthy, unclean and the hardest thing was standing there with all the saints praising God.

But You poured out Your Spirit upon me still, I felt Your presence still. Lord You confirmed so many things. I heard confirmation about Your Power, earlier that week the scripture "God has given me a Spirit of power, love and a sound mind" came to my heart and i thought about it. Then Penny preached about